one-month community

I'm trying to write each day so that it's habitual, but today was long and emotionally/intellectually exhausting, so no guarantees on quality.

I heard someone scientific-ish say the reason that we get depressed in winter is lack of visual stimulation, because we can't see as many colors or something. I believe this because when I'm inside here my eyes feel physically pulled to the windows, and whenever I'm outside I relish in each frame my head turns toward. the skyline here is so present, with the mountains. the people at my work outlined all the tourist-y places I have to go to continue having cliche enjoyments like these. my boss chris says that we can find someone with a car, so I can get down to the redwoods. it's funny planning these things because I know I'll most likely be doing them alone - I have no community here. It's a strange feeling, realizing that there's nobody with whom I could offer to exchange back massages. maybe I'll find some, who knows. back massages are so important.

So actually my housemate sascha just came in to my room to flick a power switch for the house. we had a really good conversation, most of which I'm not going to post here. He's unbelievably smart and started the Icarus Project, which is an activist group that "envisions a new culture and language that resonates with our actual experiences of 'mental illness' rather than trying to fit our lives into a conventional framework." we talked about how he wants to travel and see how different cultures define mental health norms -because it is so situational, what's considered madness. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by all of these activist minds, even though I only signed up for gen5. I'm getting sascha's history lessons, and my office space will be in Causa Justa, a latin@ housing rights organization. in any case, maybe sascha would go to the redwoods with me. I forget how easy it is to connect with strangers sometimes.

the other reason it's not feeling lonely here after just a day is gen5. key characters to know so far are Staci, one of the founders of the org, and Chris, who I'll be working with for most of the month. Staci and Chris led the orientation I had from 9:30-5 today. there's so much to say and I'm feeling like I should sleep in order to be ready for tomorrow. everyone in the house exudes calmness and focus like I've never seen. I know this is because of the healing and centering work they do, and it echoes out into the teaching Prentis and I got. it echoes in the amount of food they gave us - bagels with lox, indian take-out, chocolate-covered almonds - and the amount of eye contact they gave us, how often they asked how we were doing with the material. most importantly (or perhaps of equal importance? think about that) is that it echoes in their activist work, which feels incredibly well thought-out and sustainable. I'll speak more to that later.

phew. I'm so glad I'm here.